Dear Schooly,
In The Man Who Wasn’t There the man with the toupee getting the hair cut seems familiar to me. What’s his name?
John, Sherman Oaks, CA
Dear John,
That actor is none other than Dare Williams the world famous stunt man. You probably recognize him from his many Toys-R-Us and Old Navy commercials. You can reach him at Dareya@itv.com. p.s. He’s a Gemini!
Dear Schooly,
Recently my parents have been trying to discourage me from going to film school. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, but they won’t listen. What do think I should do?
Philip, New York, NY
Dear Philip,
Kill them. If you get caught you can always say they molested you.
Dear Schooly,
Why do so many of Mike Zoss’s movies have kidnappings?
Confused, Juno, AK
Dear Confused,
It results from a painful incident from childhood. We don’t like to talk about it (see above).
Dear Schooly,
At the end of Barton Fink a bird dives in the water as Barton sits on the beach. Was that planned?
Ivan, Dayton, OH
Dear Ivan,
Was it ever! Six weeks of post production were devoted to that one shot. Actor John Turturro was first shot against a blue screen and the bird and ocean were digitally inserted. The problem was that in the early nineties computer graphics were still in their infancy and creating water was a near impossibility. So there are actually three different elements in that one shot. First was John, the second was a matte of the ocean and the third, and hardest, was the digital bird. Originally the bird was an American Bald Eagle, meant to signify the U.S. entry into the Second World War, but eagles are the hardest to animate so after many failed attempts, they settled on a loon.
Dear Schooly,
What is the nature of God? Is the primitive abstract concept of a higher being unbecoming and, dare I say, useless in the current period of sociological human development? I mean, I can see the need for an eternal judge in the formation of societies, at the very least to define common law (I.E. what is good and just/right), but therein lies my question: was there a God before or did we feel the need to create one? The creation makes perfect sense; our actions on this plain of existence determine the quality of our life in the other, higher, permanent one. I guess what I’m asking is are we chess pieces who have set the rules of the game, meaning sanctioned beings, or are we just pawns being pushed around a board working for someone else’s victory? Also, is George Clooney nice?
Brent, Los Angeles, CA
Dear Brent,
Yes, George is very nice.
Dear Schooly,
I am a HUGE Coen brothers fan and I have always wanted to ask this question: Could Joel and Ethan make a movie so brilliant that even they couldn’t understand it?
Pete, San Pedro, CA
Dear Pete,
Yes. It was The Big Lebowski.
Dear Schooly,
I want your job. How can I get it?
Ian, New York, NY
Dear Ian,
It is said that fortune favors the brave, but in this case that is untrue. Due to personal and, coincidentally, company dogma, I can only be replaced through single, greased unarmed combat. If I had a nickel for every man who tried this route I would have the riches of Solomon. Like so many before you I sense a disregard for my past victories, so I will meet you on the field of honor; Hyde Park in London December 7, 2002. Be warned though, in addition to the pig grease, I secrete a natural lubricant making me a double threat. Victory is life.
Dear Schooly,
In O Brother Where Art Thou it looks like a cow was hit by a car. Was it really and if it was how did you get away with it?
Ritchie, Newington, CT
Dear Ritchie,
The original plan was to add the cow in post production, but this one “scenery cow” was such and asshole to the crew that we decided to do the crash on camera. Believe me the world is a better place without that cocksucker.
Dear Schooly,
Was the invasion of Iraq justifiable?
Omar, Austin, TX
Dear Omar,
Yes it is, but remember I hate all people different from me, especially people of different hues.
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